Post by malavern on May 18, 2007 23:02:25 GMT 8
Elvenkind has long wondered why the hideous creatures of the wood drop items after dying of a random encounter during an adventurers quest. The following questions have long perpetuated the enigma;
Could an oblong steel helm possibly accommodate the twisted skull of a Northern Manticor, a Fire Serpent or a Great Wyrm? Highly unlikely, yet well documented logs of the famous Gromus Bashiar expedition claim steel helms, among other things, were acquired upon the slaying of each of the three beasts.
What would a slobbering Black Ogre do with a fist full of precious gold and gems? It is a well known fact that Ogres sleep on river beds and roam forests for much of their natural lives. If the beast does not reside in a proper home he need not fill it with useless trinkets. Note: useless trinkets are most commonly acquired through an exchange involving gold or gems.
Ancient Theories
In the fourth century Algimus proposed a wild idea that was soon rejected by the vast majority of professional thinkers. He proposed the idea that monsters would eat unsuspecting adventurers, equipment and all. Even mere amateur thinkers of the day were easily able to refute the idea.
“How is a warrior to fend off the goblin scourge in the arena of the underworld without a sturdy blade to wield and a healing potion to quaff?”
-unknown
“There is not a creature alive capable of digesting a long sword +2. The sharpened edge would surely sever even the most rugged stomach lining.”
-Markus of Pailon
“Any mortal being filled with armor would surely make as much sound as a merchant headed to the market. We all know these fiends are quite silent on the hunt.”
-Luthareus
Aligmus would later renounce his theory in favor of an idea that would better explain some of the more pressing question. The details of this new idea have long been shrouded in mystery as the only reputable document of the event was stolen by pirates and now resides beneath the Sea of Begile.
Modern Solution
A freak accident involving an Ice Shard spell, a potion of rejuvenation and a drunken mage finally put all monster drop questions to rest. Sivelus of Andorus froze the broken flask of rejuvenation into the belly of an obese Weredog. The creature was taken to a druid laboratory for investigation. The results were startling.
The druids found the stomach lining of the dog to be thirty times more elastic and six times as strong as previous estimates. This was not possible without the rejuvenation potion/ice combo to stop the extremely potent stomach acids from instantaneously consuming the internal organs. With these new findings it would take an extremely rare +10 Blade of Slicing to cut through the belly from the inside. Strangely enough, the stomach has somehow evolved to be completely vulnerable from the outside in.
To seal the deal a mostly decayed halfling skull, a tin mug, a steel buckler and 5 gold coins were also found! Based on our initial findings it appears conventional wisdom has taken a rear carriage seat to the wild ideas of the ancient Aligmus.
Now we just need to figure out why monsters don’t rattle while lumbering about. Initially we speculate that the stomach acid must be some form of insulating jelly to hold items in place while reducing sound. Perhaps death triggers the jelly to liquefy.
Could an oblong steel helm possibly accommodate the twisted skull of a Northern Manticor, a Fire Serpent or a Great Wyrm? Highly unlikely, yet well documented logs of the famous Gromus Bashiar expedition claim steel helms, among other things, were acquired upon the slaying of each of the three beasts.
What would a slobbering Black Ogre do with a fist full of precious gold and gems? It is a well known fact that Ogres sleep on river beds and roam forests for much of their natural lives. If the beast does not reside in a proper home he need not fill it with useless trinkets. Note: useless trinkets are most commonly acquired through an exchange involving gold or gems.
Ancient Theories
In the fourth century Algimus proposed a wild idea that was soon rejected by the vast majority of professional thinkers. He proposed the idea that monsters would eat unsuspecting adventurers, equipment and all. Even mere amateur thinkers of the day were easily able to refute the idea.
“How is a warrior to fend off the goblin scourge in the arena of the underworld without a sturdy blade to wield and a healing potion to quaff?”
-unknown
“There is not a creature alive capable of digesting a long sword +2. The sharpened edge would surely sever even the most rugged stomach lining.”
-Markus of Pailon
“Any mortal being filled with armor would surely make as much sound as a merchant headed to the market. We all know these fiends are quite silent on the hunt.”
-Luthareus
Aligmus would later renounce his theory in favor of an idea that would better explain some of the more pressing question. The details of this new idea have long been shrouded in mystery as the only reputable document of the event was stolen by pirates and now resides beneath the Sea of Begile.
Modern Solution
A freak accident involving an Ice Shard spell, a potion of rejuvenation and a drunken mage finally put all monster drop questions to rest. Sivelus of Andorus froze the broken flask of rejuvenation into the belly of an obese Weredog. The creature was taken to a druid laboratory for investigation. The results were startling.
The druids found the stomach lining of the dog to be thirty times more elastic and six times as strong as previous estimates. This was not possible without the rejuvenation potion/ice combo to stop the extremely potent stomach acids from instantaneously consuming the internal organs. With these new findings it would take an extremely rare +10 Blade of Slicing to cut through the belly from the inside. Strangely enough, the stomach has somehow evolved to be completely vulnerable from the outside in.
To seal the deal a mostly decayed halfling skull, a tin mug, a steel buckler and 5 gold coins were also found! Based on our initial findings it appears conventional wisdom has taken a rear carriage seat to the wild ideas of the ancient Aligmus.
Now we just need to figure out why monsters don’t rattle while lumbering about. Initially we speculate that the stomach acid must be some form of insulating jelly to hold items in place while reducing sound. Perhaps death triggers the jelly to liquefy.