Post by xurbit on Nov 14, 2007 15:42:08 GMT 8
From my cousin. Who works at Ross Police Department.
These 16 comments were taken off actual police car video cameras around the country.
Who says police officers don't have a sense of humor??
16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."
15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."
14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket then, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning... you want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair... you want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4. "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
2. "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Romero is a personal
friend of yours, so now you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS...
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Xt
These 16 comments were taken off actual police car video cameras around the country.
Who says police officers don't have a sense of humor??
16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."
15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."
14. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
11. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket then, huh?"
10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9. "Warning... you want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7. "Fair... you want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4. "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
2. "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Romero is a personal
friend of yours, so now you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS...
1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
Xt